Dating Files: A 45-year-old who’s never made it to a third date

In our series looking at dating in New Zealand, a 45-year-old IT specialist says he has given up entirely.

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Age: 45

Gender: Male

Sexuality: Heterosexual

Ethnicity: Pākehā

Religion: Christian

Occupation: IT support technician

My living location is: Auckland

The apps I’m on: None. I have given up. I was on Trade Me FindSomeone back in the day.

I’m looking for: An attractive, smart Christian woman who values science and education and has similar life experiences and political views.

Mostly I’m finding: No-one, see given up above.

My last serious relationship was: I had a second date once more than 10 years ago.

The worst date I ever had: I don’t think any of them were bad, but none of them were very good obviously. One time I arranged to meet halfway between Auckland and Hamilton for a walk but she ran out of data and took more than an hour to find a place with reception and buy more data and reply to my text to say that she had arrived. In hindsight we should have specified a clearer meeting place.

The best date I ever had: Just a meal at a Thai restaurant in town.

The most regrettable thing I ever did on a date: I was once quite insistent about walking a date home one time since it was dark and I didn’t realise until three days later that she probably didn’t want me to know where she lived since she didn’t know me from a bar of soap. Also maybe walking a long way with me in the dark wasn’t a great suggestion after a first date. I left her to catch a bus by herself.

The best thing a date ever did for me: Tell me clearly the next day that they didn’t want to have any further dates.

The biggest red flag I’ve seen on a date: I am very picky so I haven’t seen any red flags in person but I must have given off a few.

On a date I usually wear: Jeans and a shirt. No tie, I hate ties.

I have sex when: Not until after marriage.

I wish dating was: Still the responsibility of your grandmother so I didn’t have to do it. But I probably wouldn’t like that either.

This is what I think about who pays on dates: I don’t care, I can pay, or not, or we can split it if you like. I will offer to pay as a default.

Three words that describe my dream date: Five years married.

My dating advice is: Don’t. While we have far right fascists in power around the world who seem to enjoy hurting those who are poor and/or brown and who refuse to take necessary action on climate change it seems irresponsible to bring more children into the world.

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