Gisborne woman speaks out after ex posts intimate video to Facebook group

A Gisborne woman felt afraid members of the community had seen her “naked, vulnerable and exposed” after her ex-fiancé shared an intimate video of her to a social media group with thousands of members.

Her biggest fear is the video resurfacing, but she told the man who victimised her that he had not broken her – only made her stronger.

Brent Walker, 43, was sentenced to 10 months’ home detention for multiple charges.

One of those was posting an intimate video of his ex-fiancee, whom he shares two young children with, on the Gisborne Facebook page “preloved items Gisborne”, which has about 29,000 members.

He also had representative charges of making an intimate visual recording, representative and particularised charges of accessing a computer system without authorisation, a charge of contravening a protection order, attempting to pervert the court of justice and possession of methamphetamine.

The video was accompanied by the caption “Anyone know this slut heard she works at…” followed by the woman’s workplace.

It continues “video of her sucking my mans c*** that will teach u b***h”.

Walker posted this from a Facebook page called “Plumber”, which has since been deleted.

It was one of six occasions where Walker filmed intimate videos of the woman without her knowledge or consent, which police found after seizing Walker’s cellphone.

Posting the video breached the woman’s protection order.

When reading out her victim impact statement on July 1, she told him: “Brent, I am not a slut, I am the mother of your children.

“I am the fulltime carer and provider for our children and it’s hard some days carrying on like nothing’s happened and speaking positively when they ask about their dad.”

Walker spent most of the victim impact statement sobbing.

“Like our children I shared the hopes we could be the family we dreamed of.”

She told him she has since had others tell her he would show them intimate videos of her.

“I am the mother of your children. How could you do this to me? Humiliate me like this? Where is your respect – the respect I will show you in your absence and in the hurt you have caused for our children.”

The woman said she felt afraid members of the community had seen her “naked, vulnerable and exposed”.

The woman told Walker it was simple things like checking her phone, and walking into work or public which triggered “waves of fear and anxiety”.

“My biggest fear is what if the video resurfaces – what if our children gain knowledge of it one day.”

She told him that he had not broken her, but only built her stronger.

“You were never the victim you painted yourself to be, just a victim of your own stupidity.

“Part of me hopes it was your meth addiction that led you to do this.”

The woman said she was not grateful for the experience, but grateful to freely live life no longer scared of what Walker might do to her.

Judge Sacha Nepe acknowledged the courage and strength shown by the woman in reading her impact statement.

As Judge Nepe read Walker’s sentence to him, he was no longer crying, but blowing kisses and mouthing words to another woman in the public gallery.

Speaking to the Gisborne Herald after the sentencing, the woman said it had brought her a lot of shame and embarrassment.

“The worst part was not knowing of its existence and then to be faced with it.”

The woman said she would never forget the moment she realised the video was on a platform with thousands of people.

In her mind, she said the video was a weapon.

“What he said on the end of it, that will teach you bitch, the mother of your children, that will teach you, yeah it taught me a lot about you mate, not me.

“It still circulates, which is horrible.”

The woman said she couldn’t stay down with the punches and had to get up for her children.

“I’m in my healing era, I get that, but it’s hard to like close that chapter when you just think like the father of your children, the like once love of your life could do that to you.”

The woman said his 10 months’ home detention didn’t change how she felt in her own home.

“They talk about his right to rehabilitation, but like I didn’t have a right for all the trauma.

“It’s been really heavy because my children, they’re so young, they don’t know, they still think their father walks on water.”

In a statement after the sentencing, Walker said he had made “very poor decisions post breakup” that he will never forgive himself for.

“I will forever be sorry. I just want to move on and see my kids again, they are the most important thing to me and I love being a dad.”

Walker will spend his home detention in Auckland, where he is from.

Chief safety officer at Netsafe Sean Lyons said NetSafe had seen covert sexualised content recorded and shared to create harm for years.

“When New Zealand put the HDC [Harmful Digital Communications Act] into effect, it was certainly something that was front and centre in the minds of legislators and the general public.”

Lyons said victims often want content to be removed, “generally because they are talking about the feelings of shame and embarrassment”.

“If anybody should be embarrassed and ashamed in terms of what they’ve done, it’s somebody [who has] tried to cause harm to another person.”