Why Tauranga mum turned off daughter’s social media – Under the Influence, episode 1
A generation of young people are facing a mental health crisis linked to social media addiction – but for worried teens and their parents, there is hope. In episode 1 of the Herald’s new online video series Under the Influence, director-producer Nadia Maxwell talks to mums and daughters
Sophia “flicked the switch” on her teenage daughter’s Wi-Fi after a moment of realisation.
“It crept in really slowly, the distance between us. And then there was a point where I just really noticed I hadn’t seen her all day.
“I don’t know what was present for her, what was happening in her mind or in her heart.”
Initially, Iyla was fuming. Like many Kiwi teens, she regarded social media as a core part of her life and identity.
“When Mum turned off the Wi-Fi, I was furious,” she remembers in the first episode of Under the Influence, a new six-part online video series outlining how social media is hurting our young people and how parents and teens can fight back.
“I felt like that she didn’t understand me, didn’t understand my problems. I needed this Wi-Fi!”
In the episode, the Tauranga 19-year-old describes thinking about social media all the time, navigating a “chaos of desire” with endless scrolling of makeup brands and trendy fashion she could consume.
Sophia reflects that it wasn’t until the Wi-Fi was turned off that the influences began to wash away.
“[The online trends] just slowly started melting off her and I could finally [see], oh, there’s my daughter, I can see you now.”
Dr Samantha Marsh, a senior research fellow at the University of Auckland, explains how the pressures of social media can affect identity formation for adolescents.
“What we want is children to go out into the community, to meet new people, be exposed to new ideas and then come home and have good relationships with their friends in person, with their parents, talk about what they’ve learned and what they’re thinking. But they also just need that time alone for self-reflection.
“What we now have is a situation where kids are exposed to other people constantly and have very little time to actually stop and think about whether it’s what they actually want.”
Anna, a 21-year-old who struggled with an eating disorder amplified by inspirational weight-loss content, describes social media as feeling like “Trauma Olympics”.
“If you are someone who feels like you have had some kind of trauma or you struggle with your own mental health, then you’ll be pushed into algorithms that will not only encourage that, but also make you compete to prove that your pain is valid.”
The episode also covers the graphic, uncensored depiction of violence and death on social media – including videos of shootings and beheadings – and its traumatic effect on young people, as algorithms serve it up to them unrequested.
Jackie Barron, principal at St Hilda’s Collegiate in Dunedin, has noticed the harm filtering down among her students.
Issues that used to be common among older teenagers now crop up frequently in young girls aged from 11 to 14, she says.
“They’re a very, very vulnerable group and they are hugely, hugely marketed to and those tech companies and the trillion-dollar beauty industry – they need those little girls.”
She sees the runaway growth of social media and its consequences for young people’s mental health as an experiment that went badly wrong.
“I don’t think we’ll ever do that again. We gave our rangatahi unfettered access to the internet through the smartphone – and we did not know the monster we’d unleashed.”
Under the Influence was made with support from NZ On Air and Screen Canterbury for the NZ Herald. You can watch the next episode, Boy v Manosphere, on Thursday, June 25, at nzherald.co.nz/undertheinfluence