Jesse Mulligan: The five mistakes hospitality staff wish you wouldn’t make
Viva’s resident Dining Out editor has been asking hospitality staff what we’re doing wrong. Are you guilty of any of these mistakes?
Do you remember that terrifying moment when you discovered that Uber drivers rate you, in the same way as you rate them? Well, it turns out waiters and waitresses rate you too. There is no Yelp page talking about your flaws and weaknesses, but you can be sure that by the time you leave the restaurant, the staff have decided whether you’re a goodie or a baddie.
So how do you become a five-star customer? I asked a selection of my favourite restaurant servers to weigh in. I promised them anonymity, and also agreed to their request “not to make us sound like a bunch of whiners”. They love you, they really do. I had to work very hard to get them to break the cone of silence and admit that there are some things they hate you doing.
‘Helping’ stack the plates
This one surprised me, but was the most popular response. “I have a technique, and an order of stacking,” said one. “And it becomes impossible to carry out once you have made a crooked stack of plates. Same goes for trying to hand me things as I clear. I have my own system.”
“Love the thought,” said another, “but not when it becomes a Jenga tower I can’t lift.”
What worries me about this one is that I think I’ve done it myself. Unlike other bad customer behaviour (like being rude or turning up late) this one is driven out of a desire to be kind. Well, it’s time to find other ways to be kind, because your waiter is silently cursing you for it.
Making up allergies
The industry takes allergies very seriously, and in a way that’s the problem. If you tell them you have an allergy to nuts, the chef has to suddenly treat nuts like poison - interrupting the whole flow of the kitchen and potentially making service late for everybody else in the room. If your problem is preference rather than medical, just ask if things could be left off.
One service professional had a more controversial take: “It’s not possible that in a population of five million there is at least one coeliac on every table. Since moving overseas 10 years ago, I haven’t met one.”
Writing online reviews without talking to the restaurant first
It is a poor reflection of the national character that we are more comfortable slagging off a restaurant online than plucking up the courage to tell wait staff something is wrong. If you are that averse to confrontation, try phrasing it as a question: “Is the meat meant to be served this well-cooked?”
I think this problem is going in the wrong direction. Serial Google reviewers and social media posters begin writing their online vents while their dinner is still hot on the table in front of them. Nobody wants to pay for a bad meal, but the first solution is to give someone a chance to fix it, not stay silent and crucify them later on Tripadvisor.
Treating staff like servants
This is one area in which I think New Zealanders do better than other countries. We tend to think of our barista as just some guy who happens to have a different job to us - not a coffee slave born to do our bidding. Still, respecting somebody as a human involves giving them your full attention while you’re asking them to do something for you.
One restaurant manager lamented “when customers approach a counter and just say ‘can I have a flat white’ or even a no eye contact ‘flat white’ without saying a quick ‘hi’ first, nothing make service feel more like a transaction than that”.
One of Auckland’s most experienced operators said something similar.
“Please don’t order while you are on the phone, by mouthing your coffee order at me. Get off the phone or at least pause, remove the phone from your ear, order and then you can carry on with your call.”
I think I might be guilty of this as well. I’m really glad somebody is putting together this list.
Booking a table and not turning up
This one is pretty obvious, but we live in the golden age of ghosting. While it might feel normal to drop contact with a person or organisation you’ve lost interest in, restaurants are one of the few businesses where, if you say you’re going to show up and don’t, you’re actually denying them the opportunity to sell their product to somebody else.
Doing this once is bad. Doing it repeatedly is evil.
One restaurateur told me: “I’ve had customers no-show several times, which we can see on the booking system, and then playing dumb when we ring to confirm their next booking and mention that they’ve missed the last two.”
Not quite as bad but still frustrating is “turning up with several more or less than booked”. As with a late arrival, the right thing to do is call ahead.
See, it’s pretty easy to be a good customer. And if you insist on keeping your bad habits, can I suggest you visit Nanny’s Eatery, where the person I spoke to had a surprising response when I asked him for his pet peeves:
“Honestly? I don’t have any. I think it’s what makes my job fun and interesting. I see all walks of life in the restaurant, from the happiest to the angriest, and when I get to mess with them it makes my day.”
Previously recommended by Jesse Mulligan
What you’ve asked, and what he’s shared.
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The top 10 best foodie cities in New Zealand, ranked. Jesse has opinions – he ranks NZ’s best foodie cities and Auckland’s best crudo.
My current restaurant obsession where playing with your food is encouraged. Plus, one reader wants more on the Shore. And where to take a big group in Christchurch.