School told trans student: 'God doesn't make mistakes' - then they tried to kill themselves

Thursday, 16 June 2022

A transgender student at Bethlehem College who was not allowed to wear the uniform of their identified gender, or be called by their preferred name and pronouns, and who was told by a member of staff, “God doesn’t make mistakes”, was so traumatised they tried to kill themselves.

The student survived.

A person close to the former student and her family, told Stuff that the treatment at the school directly harmed their mental health. This has been independently verified by others.

They said the student was also threatened with suspension if she did not adhere to school uniform policy, as she wanted to wear the uniform of her identified gender, not her biological sex.

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The student had also wanted to use pronouns and a name that related to their identified gender, but the school continued to use their ‘dead’ name; that is the name of their biological sex that they did not identify with, or want to be called.

The student was also told by a member of staff at the school: “God doesn’t make mistakes”.

“The kid attempted to take her life as a result.”

They said the school was made aware of the incident.

A two-page “working document” of the school’s “Summary of beliefs relating to gender as a school of Special Character,” which Stuff has seen, states:

“Contemporary trends in our culture are constantly changing and need careful attention: some young people experience significant confusion about their gender.”

The document also lists practices which are “consistent with the Statement of Special Character” and “must be adhered to by students, according to biological sex”.

These include that a student must use a toilet labelled with their biological sex, and wear a uniform according to their biological sex.

If a student wants to be called a different name, for example if they are transgender, these rules state the name “must be a name that the College reasonably considers aligns with their biological sex”.

The working document was sent to Stuff from the person close to the former student, as that student felt the rules meant she could not feel accepted for who she was, which led to mental health issues.

When asked about this document, chair of Bethlehem College board of trustees Paul Shakes said it was “a working document created by Bethlehem College Limited, the school’s proprietor, to guide the assessment of Bethlehem College’s special character obligations around gender”.

The school wanted to acknowledge that questions around gender and identity were “really difficult and sensitive for people and our heart goes out to those experiencing them,” he said.

Shakes could not comment on the former student. “We can’t go into details about individual matters and situations.”

When asked what the school’s current position was on students who may identify as a different gender than their biological sex, Shakes said the college had been “wrestling” with this.

“Gender identity has been an intense recent focus in our society, and we’ve been wrestling with questions around how to provide the greatest level of care and protection possible for students experiencing these questions.”

He said that after considering their Christian beliefs and the “relevant research”, the school considered whether it was “caring to affirm to children they’re the opposite gender to their biological sex?”

“As Christians we believe we find our true identity in God. We acknowledge that others have a different view of identity, and we respect this, but we don’t believe people get a ‘randomly assigned’ body at birth.”

“God’s good purposes for us include our personal and physical design as male and female, and we believe that is, including from a scientific perspective, a perfectly reasonable belief to hold,” he said.

Shakes accepted that not every family or student in the school would align with all the school’s beliefs and that the school was open about its Christian special character.

“We acknowledge that these are sensitive issues, and we respect the fact other people will think differently about them. Our message to those people is that our intention is certainly not to be hurtful…we simply ask them to respect our beliefs just as we respect theirs.”

A statement made in Bethlehem College's Statement of Belief, published on the school website, is also under scrutiny by the ministry following a complaint from Tauranga man Gordy Lockhart.

Point 13 in the document states: 'Marriage is an institution created by God in which one man and one woman enter into an exclusive relationship intended for life, and that marriage is the only form of partnership approved by God for sexual relations.'

Lockhart, who wrote to Associate Minister of Education Jan Tinetti, and Minister of Education Chris Hipkins, said the statement was discriminatory and illegal.

Education Minister Chris Hipkins told Stuff that a review into the statement was underway.

“I’ve asked the Ministry of Education to make sure the school is meeting the Government’s expectations through the Education and Training Act of ensuring a safe and inclusive environment for all students.

“I am advised there is a process underway.

“No student should feel unsafe or discriminated against while at school.”

The Ministry of Education has confirmed that this statement was not included in the College’s Integration Agreement entered into with the Minister of Education in 1999. It has ordered the Principal, Board of Trustees and Deputy chair of the Christian Education Trust to remove point 13.

Bethlehem College Board chair Paul Shakes confirmed that the Ministry of Education had asked the school to consider removing the statement as it had been added to the Statement of Belief after Bethlehem College became a state-integrated school.

He said the school was working through a process with the Ministry of Education.

Queer rights activist Shaneel Lal (they, them) said that, in their view, the Summary of Beliefs relating to Gender, would, if imposed, be both discriminatory and against the law.

“Bethlehem is not a college. It is a cult. The Minister of Education must stand against the bigotry if he cares about queer children and young people,” said Lal.

“Their stance on gender is dripping with transphobia. Bethlehem College does not understand the difference between sex and gender.

“Bethlehem College admits that gender-affirming care for trans people is contrary to their beliefs and will attempt to stop trans students from getting affirming care.”

Lal said that, in their view, stopping trans people from being trans with the intent to make them cisgender was conversion therapy, “which is prohibited and viewed as a crime under the Conversion Practices Prohibition Legislation Act, this is a crime.”

Lal said students and former students had come to them about receiving conversion therapy at Bethlehem College.

“We fought to ban conversion therapy so that no young person would be put through it. The Government has a responsibility to uphold that law, but we see that ministers of government are refusing to act. It is truly shameful.

“Young queer people are five times more likely to attempt suicide than non-queer people. This is hurting children and young people, and our government is allowing it to continue.”

Lal spearheaded the campaign that led to New Zealand banning conversion therapy earlier this year, making it a criminal offence to attempt to change or suppress a person’s sexual orientation or gender identity.

Another petition that Lal started over the weekend, lobbying the Ministry of Education to investigate practices at Bethlehem College, has already reached more than 6300 signatures.

“These are young people – children – and they are crying out for help,” Lal said.

Where to get help

Need to talk? Free call or text 1737 any time for support from a trained counsellor.

• OUTline NZ 0800 688 5463 (0800 OUTLINE)

• RainbowYOUTH 09 376 4155

• 1737, Need to talk? Free call or text 1737 to talk to a trained counsellor

• Depression.org.nz 0800 111 757 or text 4202

• Lifeline 0800 543 354

• Suicide Crisis Helpline 0508 828 865 (0508 TAUTOKO)

• Kidsline 0800 54 37 54 for people up to 18 years old. Open 24/7.

• Youthline 0800 376 633, free text 234, email talk@youthline.co.nz, or find online chat and other support options here.

• Healthline – 0800 611 116

• Samaritans – 0800 726 666.