Simon Bridges should be proud of his accent

Monday, 10 June 2019

Kiwi duo discover secret to getting smart speakers to understand Kiwi accents. (Video first published in February 2019)

OPINION: It seems that never a week goes by without the New Zealand accent being an issue of debate.

At the moment, it's often at the expense of Opposition leader Simon Bridges, who is frequently mocked. It's the 'my' pronounced 'moi' that winds up many TV watchers and radio listeners.

Before Bridges's take on the 'New Zild' accent, former prime minister Sir John Key copped his fair share of flack over his chewed vowels; something he accepted readily.

The current Prime Minister, Jacinda Ardern has her own accent quirk, replacing the letter 't' with a 'd' sound – think 'creadividy' instead of creativity – which also seems to be catching on.

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National leader Simon Bridges is unfairly mocked for his accent.

For me as a born-and-bred Brit, the issue of accents is no small thing. You can drive an hour down the road in the United Kingdom and the regional accent will have changed significantly.

I swear that within seconds of someone opening their mouth in the UK, a fellow Brit will have them catalogued by their accent: the geographic region of birth and social and educational status, just for starters.

We can work out how hard someone is trying to cover up their accent to sound less posh, or more posh or 'one of the boys'.

The attacks on Bridges have got me thinking about differences in the New Zealand accent that I've noticed myself. At the risk of being deported, here are a few observations.

There's the well-entrenched tendency, especially among female, to end all sentences with a rising intonation as if it were a question? Uptalk, as it's been labelled, is on the rise in all senses of the word.

I have to admit that after 20 years in New Zealand I am fighting my own personal battle to banish uptalk myself.

The vocal fry is also gaining traction among women. I thought it was a myth, but once you've tuned into it you really can't miss it.

It's been described as how you'd sound the morning after a big night out spent smoking cigarettes and drinking whiskey. Google Kim Kardashian if you want to know what it sounds like in action; she's the queen of the fry.

Sooner or later someone is going to have to bring RNZ voice coach Hewitt Humphrey out of retirement and get him to deal with all the reporters who've started this weird thing where they talk through their noses instead of out of their mouths – the nasal whine.

There are the variations on what a Wellington friend calls 'Moore Wilson's English'; in Auckland it's 'Farro English' or 'fauxglish'. This is the round-vowel-heavy posh affectation popular among the denizens of the posher suburbs.

It screams: 'I went to a private school' and 'my children have goats' cheese in their gluten-free sourdough sandwiches'.

Then there's the recent pop-up accent that combines elements of almost all of the above: this is 'bored hipster-speak'.

It is practised by all baristas, cocktail bar staff and many New Zealand comedians. It's a monotone that strongly indicates the speaker would rather be doing something far more exciting than talking to you. Or is it just me?

So a word of comfort to Bridges from someone who also has an accent that gets commented on – be proud of it – none of us really have a right to mock and laugh as accents everywhere are a constantly moving feast.

And remember, out of almost 7000 accents New Zealand's recently rated the sexiest in the world and was described as 'outrageously charming' so think of that next time you listen to Bridges or feel like mocking.