My child is a picky eater - are they actually OK?
Tuesday, 16 June 2026
Honestly? You’re not alone. I remember when my kids were younger and it was a struggle to get them to eat anything. Picky eating is incredibly common, and most of the time, kids are doing better than we think. But here’s how to actually know.
Watch for the warning signs first
If your child is growing well, has good energy, isn’t constantly sick, and their hair and skin look healthy, that’s a great start, these are reassuring signs. Growth is your biggest clue. If they’re tracking along their curve at Well Child checks, your child is getting enough nutrition.
You don’t need your child to eat everything. Focus on variety across the week, not perfection at every meal.
Think in simple servings:
For Toddlers (ages 1-2) - what counts as one serve
Veggies: 2 serves: 2-3 Tablespoon
Fruit: 2 serves: Half a small apple, 2-3 Strawberries
Grains, bread, rice, pasta, oats, non-sweetened cereal: 3 serves: Half a slice of bread, 2-3 tbsp rice or pasta
Dairy: milk, yoghurt, cheese: 2 serves: half a cup of milk, a small pottle of yoghurt or slice of cheese
Protein: meat, eggs, beans, fish: 2 serves: 1 tablespoon of meat, half an egg
Remember toddler tummies are tiny. A serve is much smaller than you think and that’s ok.
For preschoolers (ages 3-5)
Veggies: 2-3 servings per day
Fruit: 2 servings per day
Grains: 3-4 servings per day
Dairy: milk, yoghurt, cheese: 2 servings per day
Protein: 2-3 servings per day
If they’re hitting most of those days, you’re actually doing great.
The sneaky nutrient to watch: Iron
Iron is the one that catches parents off guard. It’s in red meat, eggs, legumes, and iron-fortified cereals. If your toddler has basically cut out all of those, it’s worth flagging with your GP because low iron can affect energy, focus, and development and kids can look totally fine on the outside.
What genuinely helps with picky eaters
Research actually backs this up, kids eat better when:
You eat the same food together (yep, your own plate matters)
Mealtimes are low-pressure and fun, not a battle
Screens are off (I know, I know)
They see the same food offered repeatedly, even if they refuse it 10+ times
It can take up to 15–20 exposures before a child accepts a new food. That’s not failure, that’s just how kids work.
When to actually see your doctor
Book in if:
They’re dropping off their growth curve
They’re looking pale or super tired
They’ve cut out whole food groups for months
Your gut is just telling you something’s off
Your Plunket nurse or GP can do a quick nutrition check and refer you to a dietitian if needed (unfortunately most of this is privately funded but worth looking into). In NZ we also have the Well Child / Tamariki Ora programme, please use it, that’s what it’s there for!
Bottom line: Picky eating is normal. A panicked parent forcing broccoli is also normal. Focus on variety over time, eat together when you can, and keep offering without pressure. And if you’re worried, just come in. That’s what we’re here for.
What tips do you have to help picky eaters become more adventurous? Let us know in the comments below. If you’re using the Stuff app on iOS you’ll need to view Stuff.co.nz on a browser to view and post comments.