‘We feel sick about it’: We're down $350k on our family home. Do we sell, or keep paying $950 a week to hold on?

Saturday, 11 July 2026

A Stuff audience member asks:

My partner and I bought our family home at the height of the market in 2021. Now from what we can tell from homes.co.nz it's worth about $350,000 less than we paid, and we're facing a move to Australia to care for my wife's dying mother.

We feel sick about it every time we talk about it.

If we keep the house and rent it out, we'd need to top up the mortgage by about $950 a week on interest-only payments. Should we hang on and hope the market recovers, or accept the loss and move on?

The Reserve Bank confirmed to Stuff that 324 thousand first-home buyers and other owner-occupiers took out mortgages during 2021 and the first half of 2022, when prices were high.

Four or five years on, many now need to move because life has changed because of work, family or health - even though their homes may be worth less than they paid.

So it makes sense that this is a question we are starting to get a lot.

Take a look at what our four property experts think you should consider. And if you have a property question or story - whether uplifting or challenging - tell us in the form below, or email Stuff’s chief property correspondent Janika ter Ellen: janika.terellen@stuffdigital.co.nz.

First, make sure you're working with the right numbers

Before deciding whether to sell or stay, several of our experts say the first step is confirming what the property is actually worth. Online estimates can be very useful, but they shouldn't be treated as the final word because they can’t see the current condition of your home.

'Chat to a real estate agent and ask them what your house is worth; heck, chat to 2 real estate agents so that you have a range of the value,' says Michael Vincent, Mortgage Director at Lighthouse Financial.

“My best guess is that you owe somewhere around $1.7m. This would put the value of the house in the $2m+ price point. The market for houses above $2m is hard to track via online data, so the valuation numbers that you are seeing online may not be representative of the value of your house.”

How long could you be overseas?

Several of our experts say time overseas is key to the decision-making process.

'The tricky thing here is that you don’t know how long you will be in Australia for and selling in NZ to buy in Australia has hidden costs that may make the rental top-ups in New Zealand seem less painful.' says Vincent.

“Assuming you move back to NZ in the future, you will be selling at the bottom of the market and then potentially buying once it is back up again… then purchasing in an Australian market that has transaction costs and taxes and hasn’t fallen as much as the NZ market. Assuming you stay there for 3-5 years, sell and then move back to NZ, you may be trying to buy back into an increasing market in NZ.”

Nefe Marson, from Opes Partners, adds: 'If the intention is to return to New Zealand, selling the home doesn’t make a lot of sense. Renting it out, putting furniture into storage and holding onto the property could provide a better middle ground.'

Callan Wayne-Bowles, Head of Advisory at Squirrel, agrees that time overseas is key, and 'from there, it becomes a broader financial and life decision. What’s their overall position - other assets, income, and ability to comfortably carry that shortfall?”

Start thinking like an investor

If the property does become a rental, Ilse Wolfe, director and founder of Wolfe Property, believes the decision changes completely.

'Because the moment you rent this house out, it stops being your home, where you're allowed to be a bit emotional, and becomes an investment where only rational thoughts are allowed.'

For Wolfe, the biggest issue isn't the paper loss, it's the ongoing cashflow.

'If you rent it out, you'd be topping up around $950 a week. That's close to $49,000 a year, and on interest-only, none of it pays the house down.'

She says she faced a similar dilemma herself, eventually selling an underperforming property at a loss before reinvesting elsewhere.

'Letting a low-performing rental wouldn't be giving up. It would be one hard, clean decision that frees you to put your money where it's actually working for you, not against you. And arguably more importantly, frees up your mental energy to where it's actually needed right now.'

Don't let one emotional moment drive a permanent financial decision

All four experts acknowledged that the move to Australia being prompted by the declining health of a family member makes this all much harder.

Nefe Marson, financial adviser at Opes Partners, says that's exactly why it's worth slowing down and taking some time.

“..before walking away from hundreds of thousands of dollars in equity, it’s worth asking whether there’s another option: rent the property out, have one partner relocate first, or simply give the market another year. ”

Wayne-Bowles of Squirrel says the key is trying to separate emotion from decision-making: “Holding on only makes sense if they can afford it without stress and have a clear long-term plan. If not, accepting a loss can sometimes be the cleaner, more sustainable option.'

Is time your friend?

This is where the experts differ. Marson from Opes Partners says homeowners should think carefully before selling near the bottom of a housing cycle.

'Property has always been a long-term investment. If you buy with a 15-year horizon, four years is still the early stages of that journey.'

“New Zealand has experienced five housing downturns over the past 60 years, and they’ve all eventually recovered. Even if Auckland never repeated the extraordinary capital growth of the last three decades, inflation and rising construction costs alone should place upward pressure on house prices over time.”

Wolfe takes a different view. She argues simply waiting isn't enough if the property becomes a rental, is consistently draining cash, and preventing money being used more effectively elsewhere.

Ultimately, the experts agree there isn't a single right answer. The decision depends on how long you'll be overseas, whether you can comfortably afford the weekly shortfall, and whether keeping the house still stacks up as an investment rather than simply an emotional attachment.

Stuff reccomends getting personal and independent financial advice to look at your individual situation. This column is general in nature and shouldn’t be interpreted as personal advice.

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