Katie Wesney: The Great Wealth Transfer is coming – and we’re pretending it’s not

Sunday, 22 June 2025

John Morrow, head of philanthropic services at JBWere, says each year $27 billion passes between generations in deceased estates

Katie Wesney is a financial adviser at enable.me.

OPINION: Here’s a number that should make you sit up: Over the next 20 years, New Zealanders will inherit more than a trillion dollars.

That’s trillion with a T. The largest intergenerational wealth transfer in our history. And yet, most families are approaching it with all the strategic planning of a game of pin the tail on the donkey.

We’re hoping for the best while preparing for… well, nothing much at all.

The awkward arithmetic of death

The maths is straightforward enough. Baby Boomers - who rode the property boom, built businesses, and accumulated wealth in ways their kids can barely imagine - are entering their 70s and 80s. That trillion-dollar estimate from the Retirement Commission includes everything from family homes and investment properties to KiwiSaver balances, term deposits, and the odd share portfolio gathering dust in a safety deposit box.

But here’s where it gets messy: transferring money is one thing. Transferring the wisdom to handle it? That’s entirely another.

Making a will can avoid family feuds later on when you’re gone. (file photo)

Most Kiwi families treat inheritance like the weather - something that happens to you, not something you prepare for. Parents assume their kids will “figure it out”. Adult children either don’t want to seem greedy by asking questions, or they’re too busy juggling mortgages and school fees to think about hypothetical windfalls.

The result? A collective shrug where there should be conversations.

When money meets grief

Inheritance isn’t just about bank balances - it’s about everything money represents. Fairness, recognition, love, responsibility. Who was the “good” child? Who visited Dad in the rest home? Who gets the family bach, and who gets the stress of maintaining it?

Add blended families, estranged siblings, and differing financial circumstances into the mix, and you’ve got a recipe for conflict that makes Christmas dinner disagreements look tame.

I’ve seen families torn apart because no one talked about intentions. Properties sold in haste because beneficiaries couldn’t agree. Windfalls squandered because recipients had never managed more than a few thousand dollars at once.

The tragedy isn’t just the money lost - it’s the relationships that don’t survive the process.

The gender twist we’re not discussing

Here’s something that gets overlooked in all the inheritance talk: women are often on both ends of this transfer, and it’s not always a good thing.

There is a gender aspect to how the later stages of many lives play out.

In heterosexual couples, women typically outlive their partners and become the first recipients of an estate. Yet research consistently shows women feel less confident about managing large sums, especially if they’ve historically left financial decisions to their spouse – despite the fact that, when women do invest, they consistently outperform men by 0.4% to 1.8% annually.

Meanwhile, adult daughters are more likely to become caregivers for ageing parents - sometimes sacrificing careers and financial security in the process. They carry more of the emotional labour.

When estate planning ignores these dynamics, it can quietly perpetuate inequality while rewarding it with guilt.

The Kiwi way isn’t working

Our default approach to inheritance planning is refreshingly straightforward: don’t talk about it.

Wills stay locked away until they’re read. Children are told not to expect anything. Or conversely, they’re led to believe future inheritance will solve current financial problems - creating dangerous inaction today and bitter disappointment tomorrow.

This hands-off approach might feel appropriately humble, but it’s creating chaos. When estates are finally settled, families discover they’re unprepared for the reality of shared ownership or simply managing more money than they’ve ever seen.

What sensible families do differently

The antidote to inheritance drama isn’t complicated: start talking.

The best-prepared families discuss values, not just valuables. They talk about timing - could part of the inheritance be gifted earlier when it might have more impact? They update wills regularly and include everyone in understanding the bigger picture.

They also acknowledge that financial literacy isn’t inherited along with the money. If you’re expecting to leave or receive a significant sum, everyone involved should understand how money actually works.

And here’s the crucial bit: they treat inheritance as a nice-to-have, not a financial strategy. You can’t control when it comes, how much it is, or who else might need support.

The silence is expensive

Death and money - two topics Kiwis would rather discuss after a few drinks, if at all. But our collective silence is costing us more than awkward dinner conversations.

If this trillion-dollar shift is going to create real opportunity rather than just shuffle assets around, we need to stop pretending it’s not happening. We need families to plan better, communicate more, and prepare for what’s coming.

Because ready or not, the Great Wealth Transfer is already underway. The only question is whether we’ll handle it with wisdom or just hope for the best.

The choice, as they say, is ours.