The Friday Fast Lane: Lego, doughnuts and Kimi's had enough of your silly questions.

Friday, 14 September 2018

In this week's Friday Fast Lane: a Bugatti made from Lego, another 'World's Fastest SUV' and Kimi Raikkonen has a firm grasp of sarcasm.

Bugatti bricks it

The Bugatti Chiron is a seriously fast and seriously desirable car, but what if we told you there was an even more desirable version and that it produced 3.9kW of power and had a top speed of 20km/h?

The one on the right looks a bit crinkly and is quite slow. But it is made of Lego.

Not so desirable right? Wrong; it's possibly even more desirable. And, no, those numbers above aren't typos - this particular Chiron is made from the greatest invention known to man; Lego.

While your standard Chiron features a single engine - albeit an 8.0-litre quad-turbo W16 - the Lego version shades that by packing 2,304 Lego electric motors and 4,032 Technic gear wheels. It is constructed out of more than a million Lego pieces and even features working headlights.

* Raikkonen questioned about day out as a gorilla

* Life-sized Ferrari F1 car made from Lego**

Lister has decided sheer power is more important than common sense with its new SUV.

Oh, yeah, and it's also fully driveable.

Legendary test driver Andy Wallace took it for a spin at a race track where Bugatti does its high speed testing and knocked off that huge 20km/h top speed - the Lego Chiron has an actual working speedo (made from Lego, of course) that reads up to a very optimistic 60km/h.

While the Lego Chiron may not have very much power (the real one boasts a colossal 1,100kW) all those tiny electric motors do churn out an impressive 92Nm of torque.

You can, of course, build a lesser one of your own, but we want this one. Possibly even more that we would want a real Chiron…

Lister heads into the mouth of madness

Aucklanders can now get a fix of deep fried dough at selected BP services stations. Mmmm... petroleum and saturated fats...

Long time sports car manufacturer and Jaguar worrier, The Lister Motor Company (formerly Lister Cars), has recently announced what possibly amounts to the pinnacle of madness in the form of what it is calling the Lister LFP, otherwise known as yet another 'the world's fastest SUV'. Like anybody needed such a thing in the first place.

Essentially a seriously annoyed Jaguar F-Pace, the LFP packs Lister's seriously tweaked and utterly savage sounding Jaaag 5.0-litre supercharged V8 from it's F-Type-based LFT-666 (yes, really) that produces 480kW and will rocket the LFP to 100km/h from a standing start in a frankly ridiculous 3.5 seconds and on to a top speed of 320km/h.

And, of course, it won't come cheap - pricing for the LFP will start at NZ$280,000 and go up from there…

You and six of your closest mates could cruise in style if Hyundai would build this topless Santa Fe. They won't though, so don't get excited.

The cat probably deserved it…

Remember this ad? Remember how it enraged cat lovers? Remember how some people just don't have a sense of humour? Yeah, Toyota does…

Petrol and doughnuts

Kimi Raikkonen pictured not caring about your silly questions.

When American doughnut (or, given it is American, donut) chain Krispy Kreme opened its first and only store in New Zealand at Manukau people queued for up to 36 hours to be the first through the door.

Now, while we understand the need for deep fried dough with a side of classic Americana, that sort of dedication is simply beyond us. If, on the other hand, we could get a round sugary fix while, say, getting petrol, then we would be all in.

And it now happens that you can with the earth-shattering news that Krispy Kreme doughnuts will now be available at five BP service stations across Auckland as part of its 'Good Mood Food' pilot.

The trial also includes Haagen-Dazs ice cream and Wishbone meals and will run until November. But sorry rest of the country - you won't get get any fried circular love yet; the trial is Auckland only and will only roll out across the rest of NZ if it is a success. So come on Aucklanders - binge on that deep fried flour, water and fat - the rest of the country needs you to…

Hyundai Santa Fe Cabrio

Now, normally a convertible SUV fills us with the sort of dread and revulsion you would normally reserve for finding a rat in your toilet bowl, but recent pics of a Hyundai Santa Fe cabrio… don't.

Maybe it is because it doesn't actually have any form of roof at all that improves its proportions, or maybe it is just the sheer thrill of seeing a fully loaded seven-seater convertible, either way; it is awesome.

But, sadly, it isn't likely to be a thing any time soon.

Despite the fact that Australian website CarAdvice ran a full road test on it, the Santa Fe cabrio was simply a car that had its roof removed to shoot a television commercial (to make it easier to film the interior) and sat languishing in a basement at Hyundai Australia until the Aussie journos got wind of it and set up a 'road test' of the one-off creation at a private track.

Despite all of this; please make it Hyundai. Please.

Best answer to a silly question of the week

Kimi Raikkonen is a Finnish racing driver, which means he really doesn't care much for the niceties of conversation and has a low tolerance for silly questions.

A soft Finnish mumble laced with sarcasm is Kimi's usual form of communication, but he took that to amazing new levels at a recent press conference following the announcement that he would be leaving the Ferrari Formula 1 team for Sauber at the end of the season.

A journalist asked a frankly silly question - 'And you're still passionate about racing?' - and Kimi mumbled back 'No, I'm not actually. Just by pure head games for you guys I happened to sign and I'm going to spend two years there just not being happy.'

Never change Kimi. Never change.