Five Things: classless cars

Monday, 19 July 2021

Here are our five top picks for cars that defy social classes and are enjoyed by everyone.

When we talk about classless cars we don’t mean a Porsche Cayenne in bright metallic pink with gold wheels and a massive spoiler (which I have personally seen on the street in China…) which, while totally lacking in class, is most certainly not classless in this case.

Meriam Webster defines “classless” three ways:

Suzuki has some anime-style fun with the Swift Sport.

Belonging to no particular social class
Free from distinctions of social class
Crass, boorish

Of course a car that is literally called the “People’s Car” is going to end up being classless. It just took a bit longer than Adolf expected.

While a pink Cayenne certainly belongs to the third definition, today we take a look at five cars that slot into the first two.

* Five Things: cars that could be future classics

The Suzuki Swift is every bit at home in a lawn bowls parking lot as it is carving you up on the motorway with a noisy exhaust.

* The history of the MX badge

* New Mini versus old Mini versus new Pork Pie versus old Pork Pie

Rock stars, royalty and, at the other end of the scale, the editor of Stuff Motoring all owned Minis. Truly classless, indeed.

Volkswagen Beetle

The original ‘classless car’ has to be the Type 1, or Beetle as it is commonly known. After all, its name literally means “People’s Car” in German.

Originally conceived by funny moustache enthusiast and genocidal lunatic Adolf Hitler as, well, a car for the people, the Beetle came into its own following the war propelled into wider production by Major Ivan Hirst, a British army officer put in charge of things.

The Mazda MX-5 holds appeal to anyone who truly enjoys driving, regardless of age or bank account.

Over its many decades of production, the Beetle was embraced by almost every level of society as a basic form of transport, a lifestyle accessory and even a status symbol.

While Volkswagen tried to revive the love with the ‘New’ Beetle from 1997, it never recaptured the egalitarian attitude of the original. Although it is something they nailed with the car that was intended to directly replace the Type 1…

Suzuki Swift

Add too many accessories and a ute becomes tasteless rather than classless, but literally anybody could be driving one these days.

Truly classless, the Suzuki Swift is much like the original Mini and loved by pretty much everyone.

Traditionally, a small Suzuki might have been most commonly seen lurking in a bowls club parking lot, and indeed, while the Swift lurks there too, it is also popular with younger folk and, well, all sorts of people in between too really.

Also helping the Swift’s wide-reaching appeal is one of the best bang-for-your-buck performance offerings around today in the form of the fantastic Swift Sport which, unlike a lot of cars badged “sport”, features meaningful tweaks to suspension and steering, as well as a more powerful turbo engine, all of which combine to be one of the most fun packages available.

Mini

While the Volkswagen Type 1 may have originated the idea of a classless, egalitarian car, the Mini truly perfected it. Pretty much unintentionally too.

Designed by the extremely pragmatic Alec Issigonis, his concept was for a revolutionary repackaging of the car in the most compact form possible. Untroubled by such frivolities as fashion or fun, Issigonis nonetheless inadvertently created a fashion icon that was massively fun to drive and held incredibly wide appeal across the entire social spectrum.

Everyone from rock stars to royalty owned Minis, while it remained accessible and affordable for the duration of its existence. Even BMW’s inflated replacement still holds similar appeal, although it doesn’t come close in terms of affordability.

Mazda MX-5

Back in the late 1970s American motoring journalist Bob Hall expresses a desire for someone to build a back-to-basics sports car in the fashion of a classic British roadster.

Unlike most motoring journalists wishing for cars that no-one built any more, Hall ended up working at Mazda, where he actually managed to make his wish come true, the result being the wonderfully pure MX-5.

A true back-to-basics roadster that was lightweight, affordable and hugely enjoyable to drive, it holds appeal to literally anyone who enjoys actually driving a car – throwing something agile and delightfully response down a winding road – regardless of its price or the driver’s station in life. And it has been a massive success as a result.

Most utes

Most new utes sold these days could actually fit into any definition of “classless”, admittedly depending on the level of accessorising and driver attitude, but you have to admit that the social or financial position of a ute driver is all-but impossible to guess, as they are literally driven by everyone from farmers and tradies, to soccer mums and millionaires.

Yes, there is a certain ‘type’ of person that often drives them (usually aggressively) that gives the whole segment a bad image, but we are simply so used to seeing utes in almost every setting that they have become largely classless.

However, I think we can all agree that any 2WD ute fitted with huge guards, a fake bonnet buldge, mud tyres and a snorkel and has clearly never been muddy in a day in its life sits firmly in the third definition though…