Transgender personality calls for society to 'get on with it' after abuse from teens

Saturday, 13 January 2018

A well-known transgender personality has called for society to 'get on with it' after being bullied in an Auckland mall on Friday.

Auckland woman Mary Haddock-Staniland said she was going to do some last-minute shopping before an overseas trip when she was 'hissed at' by a group of teenagers.

'They hissed at me as you would expect someone to do when you are trying to coerce a dog,' she said.

'I got back to the car and it kind of just hit me.'

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Haddock-Stanliand took to Snapchat on Friday to describe her experience in a video. She said she had received hundreds of positive responses to the three minute long post.

She said there was an expectation that because she had put herself out there as advocate for transgender people, she was expected to accept abuse.

'My whole reasoning of why I took to Snapchat to talk about it was I'd had a gutsful.

'I got home and sat on my own in my living room for a couple of hours thinking about it. 

'I can understand how people can be driven to suicide and hurting themselves if they don't have the support of people who love and care for them. I had a really low moment yesterday and that is not OK.'

She said she spoke through a filter on Snapchat that gave her furry ears, a doggy nose and glasses, because she 'hates the sound of my own voice' and as a shield - and she enjoys the masks.

Haddock-Staniland is a keen advocate for the transgender community and a speaker on equality and diversity. She remembers being bullied by her peers on the bus to her Matamata school, and transitioned from male to female at the age of 18. 

In 2015, the Farmers retail chain adopted gender-neutral changing rooms after an investigation into how she was treated by staff in their Botany, Auckland store.

There needs to be more education and understanding about gender dysphoria, Haddock-Staniland said.

'People do suffer from it and I know that I have been born in the wrong body. It is as simple as that, and education is key.

'It is absolutely not a choice. I can't be anything else; I don't know how to be anything else.

'It's about educating people to understand that trans is a part of life for so many people.'

Haddock-Staniland is no stranger to bigotry and said she has a thick skin, but it is 'time to move on'.

She said she just wants to be normal and do her shopping without being harassed.

'I just want to feel safe and get on with my shopping.

'I think it's just time to get on with it.'