Robbed by the road: 'I dread travelling on public holiday weekends because of what happened'

Wednesday, 4 April 2018

Lucy Hone, left, lost her daughter Abigail 'Abi' Hone in a road crash in 2014.

**So far this year, 107 people have died on New Zealand's roads. Last year, there were 380 deaths. On average, more than one person per day dies in a fatal crash in this country. Often these figures appear abstract, but the pain is as real as it is heartbreaking.

Stuff talks to those who have experienced this pain first-hand.**

When a Dutch tourist failed to stop at a stop sign near Rakaia in May 2014 and crashed into another car, three Christchurch locals died: 12-year-old Abi Hone, 49-year-old Sally Rumble, and Rumble's 12-year-old daughter Ella Summerfield.

The Dutch tourist, Johannes Jacobus Appelman, pleaded guilty and was ordered to pay $25,000 in emotional harm to the Summerfield family. He had already paid an undisclosed sum to the Hone family.

After the crash, Abi Hone's mother Lucy Hone, who studied resilience psychology at the University of Pennsylvania, kept a journal to articulate her grief; it was eventually turned into the book Resilient Grieving (originally titled What Abi Taught Us).

'There is no health without mental health,' says Dr Lucy Hone. (Video first published December 2016).

* Four people die on New Zealand roads over Easter holiday

* 'Gorgeous' girls killed in car crash

Best friends Ella Summerfield, left, and Abi Hone, both 12, died alongside Ella's mother Sally.

* Grieving husband dreads first anniversary of triple fatality crash**

In 2016, Hone wrote an article for Stuff about the loss of her daughter, explaining why she was interested in how people reacted to death, and what death could teach us about how to live.

'I feel compelled to share these findings for the benefit of others like me. Grief is, after all, a life experience common to us all. I want to inform the bereaved that all is not lost: just that we can manage to grieve, and live, simultaneously,' she said.

She spoke to Stuff in the aftermath of the 2018 Easter long weekend, during which four people died in road crashes.

LUCY HONE

I do always dread travelling on public holiday weekends because of what happened to Abi, Ella and Sally.

One second of motorised madness that robbed us of three lifetimes. When people don't concentrate, speed, or leave insufficient room between cars, they put others' lives in jeopardy.

I'm always very wary about us and our grown boys driving over those weekends, mainly because New Zealand roads are not set up for the huge volume of traffic they have to handle.

We do take steps to avoid the busiest times because I feel vulnerable and nervous in busy traffic, so this weekend, we set off to Dunedin (to see Ed Sheeran, yes!) at 6am on the Friday and left there again at 7am on Sunday.

That way we were ahead of the traffic each way, and better still, we drove our boys home from university on the Sunday, so I knew they were safe too.

I know I can't wrap them in cotton wool, but it also makes sense to reduce the risks where we can.

Ultimately, I think we need to invest seriously in improving New Zealand's roads, as the numbers they are having to cope with are growing fast and single-lane traffic with no median crash barrier is a recipe for disaster with the twisting roads we have here.

It's hard to believe that Abi got in the car one day and never came back.

- As told to Megan Gattey.

If you would like to share your story, email megan.gattey@stuff.co.nz or tell us your story here.