A cut above: Humble Christchurch barber changes men's lives

Friday, 12 April 2019

Matt Brown is a Christchurch barber, author, speaker and survivor of physical and sexual violence. He uses his barber's chair as a 'holy space' to help men overcome toxic masculinity. VICKI ANDERSON reports. 

Barber Matt Brown stands back and admires his work. Looking in the mirror he catches the eye of the man whose hair he is styling and they exchange smiles.

An internationally acclaimed barber, Brown is passionate about his craft but is a cut above when it comes to helping men change their lives.

He believes barbershops are the key to offering men a safe space to connect.

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He started My Fathers Barber in Christchurch as a way to offer connection and healing amongst men.

'In this line of work I have met every kind of man, male … all of us are wearing masks of some sort to protect our true identity,' he says. 'But in this line of work you get the privilege of seeing men take their masks off.'

When someone sits in a chair to get a haircut there is an 'element of trust'. Brown believes it is a safe space to encourage men to talk about their problems and lives.

'I've seen men walk away from toxic lifestyles like drugs, P, guys who have been suicidal,' he says. 'I have had clients in my chair saying 'this is my last haircut, I want to look good for my funeral'.

'I've always tried to use my business to help the community. Men know they can come in and talk about whatever and not feel judged.'

Members of the city's homeless whānau also know Brown well.

He regularly visits the Christchurch City Mission and donates his time, offering haircuts before job interviews or just to give men a boost.

Decades ago, barbershops were ubiquitous. Then, after the 1960s bohemian approach to men's hair, the striped-pole businesses declined in favour.

Now, however, barbershops have made a definite comeback with the rise of classic hairstyles and intricate, well-groomed moustaches and beards and the grooming products – beard oil, moustache wax and pomade – required to keep them looking good.

Brown believes barbershops should be the 'cornerstone of the community'.

'People can disconnect from their phones and have a kōrero, have a human interaction, it's almost becoming rare now.

'It's hard for men to find that space, unless it's a pub or a sports club, when it's banter and you've got to impress the guy next to you.'

For a lot of men, he says, it may be the first time they have talked about their problems.

'It's about asking those questions that you know will bring out something. I have learned so much from those in my chair from businessmen to homeless people.

'To me the chair is my cathedral, my holy space, my sanctuary, my tabernacle.'

As an ambassador and advocate for Aviva, Brown regularly speaks out against domestic violence for non-profit organisations like White Ribbon all over New Zealand. 

He moved to Christchurch from Auckland at the age of 3 and is a survivor of family violence and childhood sexual abuse.

'I was one of nine kids living in a three-bedroom house here in Christchurch, in the hood, Aranui,' Brown says.

'I came from a background of domestic violence, an abusive family. Once Were Warriors was a comedy for us kids growing up. I remember us brothers watching it and we laughed through the whole movie, comparing Beth's hidings to our mum's hidings, comparing Jake the Muss to our dad.'

By the age of 10 he had 'experienced every women's refuge home in Christchurch'.

'You grow up, you learn and you live and you realise that's not normal. I moved out of home when I was 15 because home was a volatile war zone.'

He moved into a house full of boys like him – 'kind of broken and trying to get their lives straight'' – and that's where he started barbering.

A joiner by trade, he was making furniture but wanted to do something more fulfilling.

'I went up to Auckland and learned under a third generation Turkish barber and brought those skills back to Christchurch … I opened up in the Shed in Aranui, just cutting mate's heads at first, but word of mouth got out and it grew from there.'

Last February, Brown partnered with the Ministry of Social Development (MSD) for the 'It's not OK campaign' to increase awareness about the role of barbers in creating safe spaces that allow men to talk, and last month Brown held a seminar at Koukourārata marae in Port Levy.

'Around 50 barbers from around the South Island [were] there. The whole kaupapa of that was men's mental health, suicide, domestic violence.'

It is, he says, about 'giving new tools' to barbers.

'There are men in our city who are in pain, they are bleeding all over women and children who never cut them … I am so passionate about this trade, its history, the foundation and craft of it, I want people to grasp that it is not just a job.'

He and his wife, Sarah, are writing a book together: She Is Not Your Rehab.

'It's kind of a self-help book and a call out for men to take responsibility for their own healing, our women can't do it all even if society puts it on her.'

The pair will do a nationwide book tour in November.

'We are going in to different male spaces – the meatworks, rugby clubs, prisons and have live conversations with men, just tackling this whole topic of toxic masculinity.'

On Thursday, Brown was a guest speaker at a Hard-ly Speaking event in Christchurch. It is a space for the stories that redefine male narratives.

Last month, My Fathers Barbers devoted time to help members of Ōtautahi's Muslim community following the terror attacks on two mosques that killed 50 people and injured many more.

The husband and wife transported people to and from hospital and to other appointments, organised halal food, supermarket vouchers and rallied their community to offer support too.

'It came about through a friend of ours who is a social worker. She is Persian and quickly realised there was nothing at the hospital for the families, family members were coming in from all around the world and we were not equipped for that in New Zealand,' Brown says.

'After seeing the worst side of humanity, the community showed the other side.'

My Fathers Barbers also raised funds for fellow barber Wasseim Alsati and his young daughter, Alen Daraghmih, who were shot in the March 15 shootings.

'We rallied the other barbershops around the city and just gave him the money we raised,' he says. 'That was an emotional phone call, we were all crying.'

Not long afterwards, a client instructed him to turn his head into an artwork.

In his Riccarton salon, Brown spent a long time carefully creating the image of the Deans Ave Masjid Al Noor where more than 40 people were killed.

'I asked the client if he minded if I did a tribute to the shooting victims and he said no … it's an honour to get clients who just trust you. It was quite emotional, drawing it and a few tears came,' he says. 'I was drawing a place which was violated recently.'

In his barber's chair every day, Brown reaches out to men to talk about their problems as a way to change the cycle of violence and toxic masculinity.

Sometimes boys and men tell him stories that make him cry.

He is an introvert at heart and talking hasn't always been easy for him but he knows it is the key to connection.

'My job as a barber is a privilege. We get into people's space, men's space and some of them never allow anyone else in that space,' says Brown, placing his razor on a shelf.

'It's a job, but for me it is a calling.'