The day New Zealand's racism punched me in the gut
Monday, 23 December 2019
OPINION: Racism hit me hard when I was 11 years old.
I was swimming at the Parakai pools, north of Auckland during the school holidays. I was with my Pākēhā friend, her brother and their grandmother. I noticed an older, bigger Pākēhā boy and his little sister swimming nearby, looking at me strangely.
I thought they wanted to play. I approached the boy to ask if they wanted to join our game of tag. He punched me in the stomach, called me a black b…., splashed me in the face and swam away.
I was shocked, in physical pain and deeply, emotionally hurt. I moved to the side of the pool and sat in the water crying.
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My friend hugged me and told her grandmother what happened. She didn't do anything. We left the pools soon after.
I was later told my friend's grandparents didn't like Māori people. Like the boy in the pool, the grandmother had looked at me strangely while I stayed in her home. I didn't know what the look meant until the boy hit me in the gut. It is the look of racism.
It was a harsh life lesson for an 11-year old. I learned I was hated by the boy and judged negatively by the grandmother for being Māori.
I never told my parents. My mum is from Ngāti Hine in the north and my dad is from Ngāti Kahungunu in Hawke's Bay, where I grew up.
Before then I didn't notice racism. I was Māori, most of my friends were Pākēhā. My perspective changed. I noticed racism everywhere towards Māori. I started to hang out more with Māori kids and relations because I felt culturally safer with them.
Throughout my lifetime, I have seen race-based hate expressed over and over again, either at me or towards others.
Many Kiwis will have experienced hate too for being a different ethnicity, gender, religion, sexuality, social standing and so on.
But sometimes bigotry isn't obvious. The words, actions or lack of it is mixed and subtle. The affected person or group doubts their experience and the racism or prejudice continues unchecked.
There are numerous examples of this for individual Māori and as a people, marginalised by racism throughout our colonial history. Bias and discrimination still exists against Māori within the systems governing Aotearoa. However, there is a growing acceptance by the Crown of its bias and attempts are being made to remedy the situation.
Just as the Government is trying to deal with its own discrimination we need to at a personal level.
Years ago, I waited outside a chemist watching my mum and sister looking for a Christmas gift.
The male chemist stood at the counter staring at the two of them. He motioned to a staff member to act. The woman moved in front of Mum, stood there with hands on her hips and asked Mum if she needed help.
Mum said no thank you, she was just looking. She moved past the woman and kept browsing. The staff member followed Mum closely around the shop.
My mum and sister were made to feel so uncomfortable they walked out without a gift.
Both were embarrassed, as if the shame belonged to them. I was fuming and went to confront the staff but Mum stopped me. She didn't want to make a fuss.
In that type of situation many would say, 'it was your imagination', 'you're too sensitive', 'they're not racist just rude'. Too often we explain away racism and prejudice.
The chemist lost an easy sale but because we didn't tell them we felt they were being racist; the staff weren't given the opportunity to check their behaviour.
Kiwis are calling out racism and prejudice more every day, particularly on social media where it can hurt the reputation of a person or business. But there is a note of caution. In February, Renae Maihi will defend a civil defamation case against her for a petition she started against Sir Bob Jones.
Earlier this year, we witnessed the horror of Muslims being targeted, killed and injured in Aotearoa.
As we enjoy the festive season do not forget what happened in Christchurch. It's an extreme example of what occurs when we ignore daily acts of racism and prejudice. If this insidious behaviour festers unchecked it can rot into dangerous and deadly hate.
We are a small country not dealing with our differences very well. If we can create a bicultural foundation of equality, between the Crown and Māori it could set the benchmark required to integrate all types of Kiwis into a nation proud of its multicoloured citizens.