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Family violence and pet abuse: He killed his partner's cat to control her

Friday, 20 August 2021

When Debbs Murray​ returned home with her kids from a trip to visit her mum, she noticed one of her kittens was missing.

She asked her then-partner where it was. He said he’d thrown it out the car window and run it over.

When Murray realised her other cat was limping, he told her he’d broken its legs. His message was clear: “Don’t leave me again.”

“Hearing the words coming out of my aggressor’s mouth that he had harmed and killed my pets were devastating and had the exact impact he wanted. He had got what he wanted. He controlled me through harming my pets,” she says.

Debbs Murray is a survivor of violence at the hands of her ex-partner which included harming her beloved cats.
Debbs Murray is a survivor of violence at the hands of her ex-partner which included harming her beloved cats.

**READ MORE:

* Covid-19: Domestic violence victims could struggle to seek help in managed isolation

* 'I was a shell of a human': Why family violence victims don't just leave

* She spent $50,000 trying to get safe. In the end, she gave up.

**

Even many years after leaving the violent relationship, it’s hard for Murray to talk about the harm her ex caused to their pets.

“It was a crime against the core of me and created a deep soul wound that has never healed.”

In her work with survivors of domestic abuse, and now providing specialist training through her business Eclipse Family Violence Services Limited to people who support victims, Murray has learned just how common animal abuse is in family violence.

Numerous international and New Zealand studies have identified how abusers use threats of harm against pets as a form of intimidation to prevent survivors from leaving a relationship.

Dr Ang Jury, Women
Dr Ang Jury, Women's Refuge chief executive, says research shows a strong link between animal abuse and family violence.

The 2012 Pets as Pawns study, conducted by the Women's Refuge and SPCA, found more than half of the 200 Women's Refuge clients surveyed said a loved one had threatened to kill their pets.

A second study of 929 people, published by the Women's Refuge in 2018, showed 45 per cent of participants had experienced threats of harm against their pets by their partners, 72 per cent had witnessed their partners intimidating their animals.

Women’s Refuge chief executive Dr Ang Jury​ says the research found a “distressingly high correlation between abuse of a partner and not just pets but farm animals”.

As an animal lover herself, it was impossible to understand how people could be so cruel to animals.

“Unfathomable is a good word to describe it. It boggles my mind on occasion.”

Debbs Murray – pictured with one of her cats that was not abused – says she’s never healed from the abuse inflicted on her animals.
Debbs Murray – pictured with one of her cats that was not abused – says she’s never healed from the abuse inflicted on her animals.

Most New Zealanders probably know we have one of the worst rates of family violence in the developed world. But Murray, who is from Hamilton, says it's important we also talk more about its link to pet abuse.

“It’s occurring more than what we’re prepared to acknowledge. It’s a brutal aspect of family violence.”

University of Canterbury sociologist professor Nik Taylor says pet abuse is usually premeditated.

In her research speaking to women who have experienced it, she’s heard stories of people buying companion animals for the people they abuse. “​It just comes down to power and control. It’s used to make people do things – or alternatively to make people not do things. People see the behaviour of the abuser as what they could do to them.”

Taylor says the abuse is traumatic for victims – both animal and human.

Survivors often feel guilty about what their animals have endured, as well as for their children if they have to be separated from a much-loved pet.

Pets are often the lesser-known victims of family violence.
Pets are often the lesser-known victims of family violence.

Murray, Taylor and Jury all say victims often stay in unsafe situations because they fear what may happen to their animals if they leave.

The connection between family violence and animal abuse has also been laid bare in criminal court cases in the past several years.

While dishing out blows to his partner’s hands and legs with a 16 millimetre carbon-fibre arrow, Michael John Riddle​ threatened to kill her dog and make her watch – just to torment her.

He said he would take her dog out the back of the property and cut it open.

As he held the woman captive in their home overnight, Riddle also cut up her clothes with a large kitchen knife, berated her and made fun of her. Riddle viewed the assault, threats and verbal abuse as his partner’s “punishment” for not properly shutting their front gate.

The horrifying details of the woman’s ordeal were revealed when Riddle was sentenced in the Taupō District Court in 2017 for two charges of assault with a weapon and one charge of injuring with intent to injure.

Riddle was sentenced to two years and one month in jail for the assault with a weapon charges and 12 months’ imprisonment for injuring with intent. The jail terms would be served at the same time.

In 2019, ill-treatment of companion animals “whose welfare affects significantly, or is likely to affect significantly, a person’s wellbeing” was recognised as psychological abuse and became a specific offence under the Family Violence Act.

However, the Ministry of Justice has been unable to locate statistics on the charge.

Jury says while the release of the Women’s Refuge research has sparked immediate outrage, at lot more change is needed to combat the problem. Murray and Taylor agree.

“One of the things that I bang on about is a great deal more time [needs to be spent] on our young people. I’m talking about some of those basic human things, like empathy and compassion – those sorts of really soft skills. Because it’s really hard to hurt another person, or an animal, if you can see empathy for them,” Jury says.

Murray wants to see mandatory reporting of possible non-accidental injuries of animals. This could make it easier to identify people and animals at risk of family harm.

“This is a prevention opportunity that is not recognised or utilised. Early identification of indicators could result in family violence intervention occurring and families experiencing a reduction in family violence sooner.”

For Taylor, more research into the effect on animals is critical. She says abused pets are often seen as “a marker of what’s happening to humans” – and while that's true, they’re also victims in their own right and appear to react to trauma in a similar way to people.

Both she and Murray say there needs to be more accommodation options for survivors with pets, so they don’t have to choose between keeping themselves safe or protecting their pets.

Places like Pet Refuge, a shelter for animals of family violence victims, which opened in Auckland earlier this month, is one solution. But pet-friendly safe houses are also needed so that survivors and their pets can stay together.

Murray says because many victims of domestic abuse are isolated by their partner from friends and whānau, they often have very deep relationships with their pets, and staying with them can help them heal.

Taylor agrees: “When they’re allowed to reunite with their animals, their joy is unbounded.”

Breaking Silence is New Zealand’s only web series dedicated to shining a light on the many faces of domestic abuse in Aotearoa. Produced by Magnetic Pictures for Stuff and made with the support of New Zealand on Air. Watch series 1 & 2 stuff.co.nz/breakingsilence.

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