Domestic abuse victim tells of increasing verbal and physical assaults
Wednesday, 14 October 2020
A man who assaulted his ex-partner while she already had a protection order against him for domestic violence has been sentenced to 11 months home detention.
Nathan Rolleston pleaded guilty to two charges of impeding breathing, charges of assault and intimidation, and one charge of breaching a protection order.
His former partner read a victim impact statement at his sentencing in the Nelson District Court on Tuesday. She said the most important thing for her was “breaking the cycle of abuse for myself but most importantly for the children”.
She said that his verbal and physical assaults had lasted their entire marriage at an increasing rate, and had involved their children.
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“Me and the children were living on eggshells,” she said.
“I tried to support you to make changes, everybody did, you had the [stopping violence] courses but you also had your whole family and community behind you.
“By protecting you from consequences of your actions, by rescuing you … I was allowing my boundaries to be moved, by this I was in fact contributing to the cycle by enabling the situation,” she said.
“I see no remorse [in him], I see only bitterness and blame.”
She said she kept all windows and doors at her home locked, kept the gate of her driveway closed as cars approaching the house made her “freeze and go numb”, and felt severe anxiety on rainy days, which he did not work on.
“I fear that since I have broken my silence he will seek revenge, as he has threatened in the past.
“I feared having him as an enemy as much as I feared being with him.”
Judge Tony Zohrab told Rolleston that he should “listen carefully” to the woman’s impact statement, especially the parts about him taking stopping violence programmes seriously.
“It's not simply a case of turning up and ticking the boxes. If you're wanting to make change rather than feeling sorry for yourself … you need to engage with the programme.”
He expressed some concern that though the man said he would “stand by” his guilty plea, he had denied some aspects of the offending to court report writers.
He said the man's criminal history was short but indicative, noting family violence offending in 2018 including three charges of assault against a child.
He sentenced Rolleston to 11 months of home detention and warned him that any further violent offending would result in a prison sentence.
“I think people during the lockdown process have gained some insight into how difficult a home detention sentence can be.”
Rolleston was also required to complete another stopping violence programme.
“You owe it to your biological children to better yourself,” Zohrab said.
Where to get help for domestic violence:
Women’s Refuge 0800 733 843 (female-only)
Shine Free call 0508 744 633 between 9am and 11pm (for men and women)
1737, Need to talk? Free call or text 1737 to talk to a trained counsellor.
Kidsline 0800 54 37 54 for people up to 18 years old. Open 24/7.
What’s Up 0800 942 8787 (for 5 to 18-year-olds). Phone counselling available Monday-Friday, noon-11pm and weekends, 3pm-11pm. Online chat is available 3pm-10pm daily.
Youthline 0800 376 633, free text 234, email talk@youthline.co.nz, or find online chat and other support options here.
Are You OK? For more information about domestic violence, where to get help, and how to make change.
If you or someone else is in immediate danger, call 111.