Protesters called me a 'disgusting lesbian'. Here's what I say to them

Tuesday, 14 March 2023

The walk for support on Cashel St to launch the annual PRIDE Festival in Christchurch.

Ashleigh Ogden is a Christchurch-based mum who works for Neighbourly.

OPINION: It’s early Sunday morning and my wife and I are leaving the library. My toddler is on my hip clutching her favourite soft toy, “Monkey”, I have her nappy bag slung over my shoulder, and we are met with yelling directed at us: “Shame on you, you disgusting lesbians.”

A group of protesters are outside the library demonstrating against the pride event inside, where two drag queens are dressed up and reading books to children. The protesters’ sign reads “Drag Pedos Groom Kids”.

Immediately, my mama bear instincts are in full force and we have to get to the car right now. What if they throw something at us? This could be a traumatic experience for my little one.

So we hurry away and get our toddler to the car but once in the safety of our seats, my wife and I can’t help but have a little cry.

* Revealed: What actually happens during the library’s Drag Storytime

Ashleigh Ogden: “Now I lie awake wondering if my children are safe from people like these protesters, who were so filled with hate.”

* Drag king Hugo Grrrl tried a regular day job, but was just waiting for the weekends when he could perform

* Drag queen duo adding 'colour to a black and white community'

We ran away, but what I’d really like to do is have a chat with these protesters, who have been rallied from the Voices for Freedom Facebook page.

I’d say “Hello! I’m Ash! I’m just wondering where is there any evidence to back up the claims on your sign? Becoming a drag queen seems a bit of a fail if you’re wanting access to children.

“And are you just worried about children, because you just called me a disgusting lesbian? So there are two things you’re angry about here - lesbians existing, and drag queens reading to children. Where does all this hate come from?”

I care about children too - so much so that I limit screen time, read the backs of products to see if they contain too much sugar, lay awake at night wondering how to keep my kids safe. Perhaps we are alike.

Now I lie awake wondering if my children are safe from people like these protesters, who were so filled with hate. Protesters who managed to enter the library, one yelling in a librarian’s face, calling her “a f…ing bitch” and punching the lift on the way out. I’m beginning to feel unsafe.

From what I can see, this anger stems from misunderstanding and fear. I get it, there are things in life that I’ve felt uncomfortable about when they’ve changed, and it’s taken time to get past that. When I’m angry about something I ask myself why; what is the actual root cause? Sometimes it’s just feeling uncomfortable, out of my depth or left behind. Sometimes it just takes plunging in deep and doing some learning.

If you’re born as a man or a woman and that matches how you feel inside, and you’re attracted to people of the opposite sex, then that’s really handy for you, in this society that we live in.

But there are just so many people who do not feel the same, and they’ve always been around, but too scared to be their authentic selves, so they lived a lie, or their pain drove them to unpleasant places or to suicide.

This may not affect these protesters now, but it may affect their children, or it may be the next generation of their family. It’s best we all try to see the other side, because these actions are creating either a safe or a dangerous world for future generations to grow up in.

As for the reason these protesters came down, the drag queens were inside reading children’s books aloud, looking more wholesome than children’s birthday entertainers.

There was a book about a giraffe, confetti being thrown, a quip about returning your library books on time and a message delivered without fanfare and ulterior motives: be kind.

Dangerous stuff!