Most MPs fizzle, but some go out with a bang

Saturday, 26 August 2023

Vernon Small is a former business and political journalist with more than two decades in the press gallery, who until recently was an adviser to Attorney-General David Parker. He is now writing a weekly column for the Sunday Star-Times.

OPINION: Most MPs create no fireworks and leave barely a trace behind them.

As the joke goes, they achieve the kind of anonymity you could only hope for in a witness protection programme.

Over the years, some generously save voters the trouble of ditching them by effectively firing themselves, while becoming memorable for the wrong reasons.

Yes, we know who you are, Aaron.

But irrespective of their merits, MPs who call it a day before an election are given the chance to formally say goodbye.

Parliament is going through this process now, where MPs who have thought better of it – or had that thought thrust upon them – are giving valedictory speeches, without fear of interjection.

It is part of the three-yearly parliamentary spring-clean. Parties are shaking the dust from their caucuses, chucking out the half-eaten yoghurt, and stocking up on some new lobby fodder.

In keeping with tradition, this year’s exiters are serving up the usual mix of the odd (Jamie Strange) and the yawnful (Jacqui Dean).

Others, though, have reminded us what we are losing.

Aupito William Sio, Ian McKelvie, Eugenie Sage, Poto Williams and Todd Muller (the last was the stand-out) gave speeches that were, in different measures, principled, thoughtful, witty and wise.

They may not always have been the best politicians, but they came across as good people with useful experience Parliament has now lost.

Williams showed a new-found lightness of being, getting the most laughs from swipes at caucus colleagues Willie Jackson and Stuart Nash, as well as National’s Mark Mitchell and especially at ACT leader David Seymour.

Sio and Muller shared personal and moving insights that were more than worth a free ticket to the public gallery.

A resplendent Sio, naked to the waist and in traditional dress, delivered a history lesson on New Zealand’s relations with Samoa that made you sit up uncomfortably. His farewell reception in Parliament’s Grand Hall was like a royal audience, with him seated on a raised stage receiving guests and posing for photos.

Muller traversed the need for bipartisanship on mental health, and the need to prioritise climate change.

He warned of the dangers of polarised views on the Treaty and Māori aspirations. Points off for idealism - will the “two great tribes” Labour and National really ever unite on this?

Against a backdrop of (mostly) long service, one-term Whangārei MP Emily Henderson made a noteworthy contribution. She never expected to be an MP, but was swept in on the 2020 Labour landslide.

Now poised “to step back into the mass of voters”, she warned that an abnormal election was looming, where the temptation to divide in order to rule is clearly present and is a danger. Voters, she said, are finding taking part in political discourse intimidating and divisive.

Hers was a more tribal speech than Muller’s, but the message was equally clear: the twin rabbit holes of racial scapegoating and post-Covid conspiracies, where facts matter less than fears, are alienating voters.

Which brings us to the motivations of MPs standing for election on October 14.

Parties have mostly finalised their lists. Candidates unhappy with their list rankings bail out – notably National’s Michael Woodhouse, who is set to miss out on a valedictory if, as expected, he loses in his electorate.

At the same time, the media and political opponents are unearthing those who could be liabilities.

Two ACT candidates have gone. Elaine Naidu Franz resigned after it emerged she compared Covid mandates to concentration camps. Anto Coates stepped down “for personal reasons” after comments about Covid and former PM Jacinda Ardern. Another candidate who linked the Covid vaccine to drownings has apologised and renounced their comments.

When minor parties are on the rise, worrying candidates are more likely to seize the opportunity to stand. Few make it through to Parliament, but parties always take that risk, especially when they try harvesting votes from the extreme, the disgruntled or lovers of conspiracy theories.

If you dog-whistle, don’t be surprised to find mongrels in your backyard.

The problematic ACT candidates did not have winnable spots, so the fallout should be limited.

It is doubtful publicity around them contributed to the decline in support for ACT reportedly showing up in Labour’s internal polling, seeded around the traps on Friday. It has ACT behind the Greens, and Labour closing the gap on National to a couple of points, putting the left bloc (including Te Pāti Māori) ahead of National and ACT.

David Seymour’s “joke” about sending Guy Fawkes to blow up the Ministry for Pacific Peoples, and the way Seymour handled the public blowback, might not have helped. Far from helping matters, making a righteous meal out of defending himself in Question Time probably made things worse.

In any event, Seymour’s witticism was a poor choice in more ways than one.

Back in 1605, Fawkes’ plan backfired; he and his accomplices failed to blow up Parliament and kill the king, and the plotters were hung, drawn, and quartered.

But at least they did create some fireworks.