Dollars and Sense: How do you model good money habits to children without delivering long-winded sermons?

Sunday, 30 November 2025

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Senior business reporter Rob Stock answers your money questions. Got a question for Sunday magazine? Email it to sundaymagazine@stuff.co.nz

QUESTION: If you've got children, how do you model good money habits without delivering a long-winded sermon (that they probably won't listen to) about wasting money?

ANSWER: Yes. Sermons are boring, and probably ineffective. Kids are great at spotting hypocrisy. A better tack is to let them see you doing the right things.

I am not a fan of parents trying to control every aspect of their children’s lives through clever pocket money and rewards systems. My children’s job was to be diligent at school, not to fret about what to do with the small amount of money they got.

I was clear about what I expected, and was, and am, always available to help with homework, essays, revision, and discussion about school topics. I consider that children need to do their best at school, and be as good as they can be at the subjects they really love.

I had a particular expectation they would engage with maths, which is a strong predictor of financial success in adult life. My children’s school was patchy at teaching maths.I had to do a lot of it with them to make up for that. Diligence got its reward. Application dispelled ignorance. “Achieved” (and even one “Fail”) turned into “Merit”, and, on occasion “Excellence”. The underlying message was they had power to affect their future.

Money editor Damien Venuto has been looking into how high inflation numbers will affect us.

There’s another word for diligence. It is conscientiousness.

That is a strong predictor of success in life, not as big a predictor as being born wealthy, but pretty good.

I also think it is important that you have big money goals the kids know about.

My ambition for my girls was for them to start working life well-educated and debt-free. That has taken sacrifices, but it has been worth it, though there are still a few years to go. The girls contribute through their study efforts, part-time work, and living fun, but not big-spending lives.

Personally, I think it is incredibly important to open KiwiSaver accounts for your kids, and to encourage them to work. Both my girls organised their own employment without my help while in their mid-teens (one is 16 now, and the other 19), and I reckon part of their motivation was me not being too generous with the pocket money.

I didn’t spend a moment’s thought on what they did with the money they earned, though I sometimes made it known I didn’t intend to pay for a certain something they desired, which had a focusing effect on saving.

Work has been good for them. I’ve seen skills and confidence grow. I also think it’s important to impart some grown-up principles, like living within your means, putting 10% of your earnings into long-term savings/investment, and avoiding pernicious consumer finance.

I have a nice, chatty relationship with my girls, and spend time with them so there are lots of opportunities for chatting. Among the things in my life that makes me happiest is that my elder daughter calls me from university every day for a chat.

I have seen a lot of research seeking the holy grail of how to raise financially-capable kids. Much of what is said lacks context. No strategy, it seems to me, guarantees the outcome.

Obviously, I have been doing my best, and have given you an account of those efforts.

Ask me in 20 years how my tactics worked out.

Disclaimer: The information in this column is provided for general information only and is not intended as financial advice. If you require expert advice we encourage you to seek assistance from a professional adviser.