We say we believe in equality: The numbers tell a different story

Thursday, 18 September 2025

Dellwyn Stuart leads genderatworkcommunity.org.nz

OPINION: I remember watching Harry Styles strut across the stage in a floral suit, heels, and pearls, and thinking this was more than just a pop star’s eccentric wardrobe choice. It was a provocation. It was a reminder that masculinity doesn’t have to be rigid, that men can bend the boundaries of gender without losing anything of themselves. Culture often pushes the edges before politics catches up. Yet here in Aotearoa, the latest Gender Attitudes Survey tells us that while symbols of progress are everywhere, our collective attitudes still lag far behind.

The survey, released this week by the National Council of Women, found that almost eight in ten New Zealanders believe gender equality is a fundamental right. Most of us think it should mean equal pay, fairer representation in leadership, and the same freedoms for girls and boys. These results suggest that the idea of equality is embedded in our national psyche. It’s something people want, something they support in principle.

But look a little closer and the picture changes. Nearly half of respondents now believe equality has already been achieved. Four in ten say sexism is no longer a significant issue. One in three young men between 18 and 34 say equality has gone “too far”.

These are not small numbers. They are a warning that complacency, denial, and even resentment are seeping into our public conversation.

Even more troubling are the beliefs that sit underneath.

Seventeen percent of New Zealanders think someone who is raped while drunk is partly responsible. Eleven percent think you can’t call it rape if a victim doesn’t physically fight back. Fourteen percent agree it is “understandable” for a man to hit out when his partner tries to leave him - a sharp rise since the question was first asked in 2017.

These are not the views of a tiny fringe. They are present in our homes, workplaces, and communities, and they tell us that despite the rhetoric of progress, violence and sexism are still excused by too many.

That’s why the Harry Styles metaphor matters. When a global pop star dons a dress, it can be liberating for some and threatening for others. Symbols of change are powerful, but they are also easy to misinterpret. They can trick us into thinking we’ve already won the battle, that equality is fashionable now and therefore complete. But if we mistake performance for achievement, we risk leaving the underlying problems untouched. We risk ignoring the attitudes of young men who feel alienated by change, or who genuinely believe there is nothing left to fight for.

So, the challenge for us is twofold. We must hold onto the hope that most New Zealanders want fairness, that they want their sisters, daughters, partners, and colleagues to thrive.

But we must also confront the myths. Equality is not done. It has not gone too far. It is not undermined by teaching consent in schools or by supporting women into leadership. And it certainly isn’t undermined by men expressing themselves more freely.

It's not enough just to applaud the symbol of Harry Styles. We have to do the work. That means policy that addresses the rollback on pay equity. It means education that dismantles rape myths and challenges toxic ideas about masculinity. It means conversations with young men that show equality doesn’t take anything away from them - it gives them more ways to be fully human.

The survey is a reminder that the fight for gender equality is not over. The gains we’ve made are fragile, and without vigilance they can slide backwards. Pop culture can point the way. But it’s up to us to turn belief into action, and action into lasting change.

For more information on the 2025 Gender Attitudes Survey results, visit genderequal.nz/ga-survey