Feeling ‘worthless’ at 62: Abuse survivor calls for redress ahead of national apology

Saturday, 9 November 2024

At 62 years old, Maree Turner still feels “worthless”.

She was raped, kicked and bashed during the 14 years she was in state care, from as young as 5. Of the 13 foster homes she was in, she has no happy memories.

But for Turner, it has not just been 14 years, it has been her entire life.

When she received a letter on October 22 offering $20,000 compensation for her abuse - about $1400 for each of her 14 years in care - it felt like “a slap in the face”.

“When I got the letter and the offer, one of the first natural instincts I wanted to do was go and sit in the gutter - when I was a kid I was told that’s where I belonged,” she said.

“It endorsed our lack of worth.”

The money Turner was offered was from the Ministry of Social Development’s Rapid Payment Framework, which was setup two years ago to pay state care abuse survivors based on how many years they were in care. It was designed to give payouts quickly to those whose health and age meant they may not be alive when a new redress system was introduced.

Those in care for less than five years receive $10,000, five to 15 years $20,000, and over 15 years $25,000.

The average lifetime cost of abuse for each survivor was $857,000, according to the Abuse in Care Royal Commission of Inquiry.

Turner’s other option was to go through the individualised claim assessment process, which her lawyers said would take up to eight years. She could receive between $10,000 and $20,000.

Turner might not have that long. Diagnosed with terminal chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD), she hoped to have 10 years left.

So she was waiting to find out how the Government would respond, hopefully by the end of the year, to the redress recommendations made by the royal commission. She hoped it would listen.

In July, the royal commission’s findings were laid bare. It estimated about a quarter of a million Kiwis faced abuse in care, including rape, torture and medical experimentation.

Between 1959 and 2019, about one in three people in care were abused.

The commission made more than 230 recommendations after receiving submissions from 2400 survivors, who all called on the Government to provide redress.

On October 30, the Government announced it would pay the legal fees of those abused at the Lake Alice Child and Adolescent Unit. Some survivors died before the announcement.

But many, like Turner, were still waiting.

Her life could have been different if she wasn’t abused, she said. She might have been able to afford a house instead of renting into her 60s, she wouldn’t have been homeless, wouldn’t have needed surgery to repair the damage from when she was hit, wouldn't have gone bankrupt at 21, and would be in touch with her family.

She wouldn’t have had post-traumatic stress disorder, depression, anxiety or suicidal thoughts.

“I don’t have anywhere to call home, I have nothing,” she said.

“It is very very hard to believe that you are a good person when you have had that many years of being told you’re not… There’s only so many times you can be kicked.”

The only reason Turner was still here, she said, was because of her son, now in his second year of university.

“I’m not part of a family, I made my own.”

On Tuesday, Prime Minister Christopher Luxon will issue a formal apology to those abused in state care.

Luxon will give the apology at 11.30am from inside the debating chamber. It will be livestreamed at coinciding events at the Due Drop Events Centre in Auckland, Shed 6 in Wellington, and the Christchurch Town Hall - where Turner will be.

About 1200 survivors and support people are expected to attend across the country.

Turner did not know what to expect from the apology or if it would change anything. In some ways, she knew “there’s no gain, because we’ve lost so much”.

She had waited 44 years for redress, or acknowledgement from the Government for what happened to her - “since I was released [from care]. And every day I’ve felt the results of it, it’s been a long time coming.”

She hoped speaking out would help ensure children in the system now would not end up “as broken” as her in 50 years. She hoped the Government would give survivors an offer that did not make them feel worthless, before more of them died.

“I don’t know if I should just be grateful, suck it up and shut up,” she said. “But I would like these tears to fall on someone’s ears this time.”