A Cabinet of All Blacks captains

Friday, 17 April 2026

Martin van Beynen is a Press journalist and regular opinion contributor.

OPINION: NZ First has dotted down between the posts with the recruitment of former All Blacks captain Taine Randell, 51, as a candidate for the next election.

Successful sportspeople don’t necessarily make good politicians and the All Blacks who made it into Parliament so far haven’t exactly set the house alight. But All Blacks captains are a breed apart.

They have been tested in the cauldron of test rugby where decisions must be made rapidly, and, just like the real world, things never go to plan. They have openly proven their fitness for higher office with their energy, skill, calmness under pressure, tactical nous and inspirational leadership.

Randell said the teamwork, public accountability and huge transparency of his All Blacks career would help him as an MP. He should be aiming higher, at the very least Minister of Sports and Recreation.

All political parties should be actively recruiting All Blacks captains, not only as candidates, but as potential ministers. To help with the process I’ve drawn up a quick list of ministerial posts that would be a good fit for former All Blacks skippers.

It’s impossible to better the All Blacks’ most successful captain, Richie McCaw, as Prime Minister. McCaw, the Jacinda Ardern of high level rugby, led by example and was an expert in keeping a disparate group of high performers and egos in line, especially when they were on the bottom of the ruck.

McCaw had an unparalleled knack for getting referees to see things his way, a gift that will stand him in good stead in the Beehive, where success often hinges on keeping Cabinet, coalition partners and the public onside. You can easily imagine McCaw fronting a press conference where his aura and ability to persuade could cow the most hostile questioner.

Sean Fitzpatrick would be my pick for Minister of Foreign Affairs. Fitzpatrick captained as a kind of smiling assassin - grinning broadly while exercising the darkest of arts in the shadowlands of the scrum and maul. In a crisis like the Cook Islands doing deals with China behind our backs, Fitzpatrick would arrive in town exuding charm and soothing words only to wrestle a good outcome behind closed doors.

For Finance, Sir Wayne Shelford gets the nod. “Buck”, who once continued playing with a stitched-up scrotum, understood sacrifice, resilience, and the grim determination needed to keep the show on the road. Shelford wouldn’t flinch from tough decisions like raising the pension age, introducing a capital gains tax and taxing land bankers. When commenting on the pain he inflicted, he would respond with “suck it up”. His approach would win him few friends but sugar doesn’t always make the medicine go down. A budget crisis is nothing compared to imperilled manhood.

Scott Barrett would make a fine Minister of Health given his many injuries, but I have him earmarked for the transport and defence portfolios. This is mostly due to his freight train physique and his tackle count on the field. I can’t see many of this country’s enemies getting through the gaps with Barrett’s finger on the trigger. A ferry crisis would be solved by Barrett knocking a few heads together.

Agriculture is one of the most important ministries. It requires a deep understanding of the farming sector and the international trading environment but let’s give Kieran Read a shot anyway. Read’s leadership was measured, thoughtful, and collaborative. His lack of farming experience is a negative but memories of those great tries and his massive workload on the field will quickly quell any doubts about his suitability.

Justice, meanwhile, is practically tailor-made for Tana Umaga. Umaga captained during a period when the All Blacks needed both discipline and a touch of steel. He might apply his famous phrase about rugby not being a game of tiddlywinks to the justice portfolio, where a hard edge is required. Famous for stopping a bar scrap by smacking his teammate with a handbag, he would be open to new and inventive punishments. No angel when it came to confrontation - no-one will forget the devastating tackle on Lions captain Brian O’Driscoll - Umaga would bring a touch of imperfect humanity to the role.

David Kirk, the cerebral captain who led the 1987 World Cup-winning side, is fully deserving of the difficult health portfolio. Some would say richly deserved given his hospital passes as a halfback, it’s time for Kirk to put his medical degree to political use. If things got a bit short in the hospital system, he could always lend a hand at the coalface. However his time in sport, politics, government, and international business would be a perfect background for a ministry that is a bottomless pit of taxpayer money.

Education goes to Anton Oliver, who was regarded as the thinking man’s All Black and is a true renaissance man. His championship of the arts and the environment might take education away from its fixation with the basics but his stewardship will produce more essential artists, musicians and pest destruction experts. Eloquent and resilient, OIiver will be an inspiration to students looking for all round excellence.

Ardie Savea gets my vote for Minister of Social Development. Hugely influential as a player and leader, Savea would bring a rare flair and empathy to this crucial role. His tenacity in turnovers shows beneficiaries the advantages of turning over a new leaf. His fashion sense shows there’s no excuse for not looking good.