Transgender Awareness Week: Fight for inclusion still ongoing, advocate says

Wednesday, 17 November 2021

The results of Counting Ourselves, New Zealand's first transgender health survey, have been released.

Aotearoa has come a long way in terms of transgender awareness in the past 20 years, but advocate Mary Haddock-Staniland says there’s still work to be done.

November 13 to 19 marks Transgender Awareness Week, an event Haddock-Staniland said was important for all transgender and non-binary Kiwis to be seen and heard.

Haddock-Staniland, who is senior vice president of culture and inclusion at software company Timely, said growing up in small town rural New Zealand and knowing she was transgender was rough.

Mary Haddock-Staniland says while progress is being made, transgender and non-binary kiwis still have a 'tough journey'.

Around the turn of the millennium, at 18 years old, she came out.

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“We didn’t have the active promotion we have now at that time,” she said.

“A much larger portion of society didn’t interact with people like me, and it was viewed as being way out there.”

Haddock-Staniland was born in Matamata and later moved to south Auckland.

Mary Haddock-Staniland is senior vice-president of culture and inclusion at Timely, as well as a keynote speaker and Lifeline ambassador.

“I’m the youngest of a big family, I haven’t spoken to my dad in 20 years, but my mum always supported me. She’s 73 now, and she still sometimes struggles with pronouns, but I know she’s acting with the best intentions.”

Haddock-Staniland said she was a vocal supporter of the transgender and non-binary community because it was important different gender identities were normalised.

“While things have progressed since I was a teenager, many trans and non-binary people are still living on the outer edge of society.

It is currently transgender awareness week in Aotearoa. (File photo)

“We want the acceptance that people who are gay or lesbian currently have. Twenty years ago they were dealing with similar issues that we are facing now in terms of acceptance.”

According to Counting Ourselves, the first New Zealand-based survey to focus on transgender health and well-being in New Zealand, 71 per cent of those surveyed reported high psychological distress, compared with eight per cent of the general population.

Companies are coming on board with being mindful of gender pronouns, Haddock-Staniland said. (File photo)

A further 61 per cent said they experienced discrimination at some point in their lives, with 44 per cent saying they’d experienced it in the past 12 months, compared to 17 per cent of the general population.

Haddock-Staniland said transphobia was still far too common, during job interviews, while using toilets, or when renting a flat.

She herself had been refused access to women’s changing rooms and had abuse yelled at her in bars.

“There’s still a feeling of being the 'other'. I still get drunken insults when I go out on the town or people staring at me in the streets or having to search for non-gendered toilets.

“I’m a human, a friend, an auntie, a sister, a daughter. I’m not a man or a tranny.'

She said Timely was working on rolling out pronouns in its app, which she believed was a huge step in the right direction.

“Many companies are beginning to get on board with using pronouns in their email signatures and I hope in the next few years we see an emphasis on pronouns.

“I hope in the next five years we continue to embrace and learn more about what it means to be transgender. It’s a pivotal time for us.”

Haddock-Staniland said transgender or non-binary youth should talk to their parents, a loved one, or their GP about how they are feeling.

“Communication is so important.

“Awareness week is all about raising issues, realising we aren’t a threat, we just want to feel a sense of belonging. It’s not too much to ask.”